The Codex Acucius
by Talia
Summary: A book of medieval poems and stories written in praise of Aku has been uncovered. Now, at last, the works therein are being released to the public. Will be updated as new poems continue to be translated.
1. Introduction

THE CODEX ACUCIUS

The Codex Acucius (Aku Codex) was discovered two years ago (as of this writing) by the famous Sir Colin Bartholomew Montgomery Rothchild (III) and promptly donated to the H.O.U.N.D. Society (acronym pending)  
The Codex Acucius is a collection of stories, poems and songs in praise of His Lordship Aku, written sometime between the first and second century of his reign. It is believed to have once been made up from as many as 150,000 volumes :1: containing hundreds, if not thousands of works. Scholars and historians believe that most, if not all, of the writings contained within the codex were personally commissioned by Aku himself, then later compiled by one of his subordinates. The fate of the other volumes is unknown, though it is possible that they are still in Aku's possession. The codex as we know it was discovered by Sir Rothchild one summer afternoon, on the farm of Jimmy Joe Bob Glossuck. It was uncovered in the outhouse. The Glossuck family, seemingly unaware of the book's historical significance, had been using it as a source of bathroom paper. It is unknown how many priceless pages were lost, for Sir Rothchild was unable to convince any of his comrades to dig for the missing pieces. Fortunately, he was able to save the book from further destruction by purchasing it from Mr. Glossuck for an undisclosed sum :2:. Most of the codex, as it remains, was written in Medieval English. A team of translators from H.O.U.N.D. have diligently tried to make the text as accessible to the modern reader as possible, whilst ensuring that none of the original meaning is lost.

We begin with the scribe's inscribed inscription upon the front cover, dedicating the book:

"_Shogun of Sorrow, live forever; honor to your awfulness.  
May you be forever blessed with fame and fortune in excess_."

* * *

:1: Though probably more like three.  
:2: However, the fact that shortly after the transaction Mr. Glossuck was arrested for public drunkenness might be of note. 


	2. Poem: Nothing Compares to Lord Aku

Nothing compares to Lord Aku;  
He's great beyond compare.  
His skin is of the blackest hue;  
And yet that black is fair.  
His flaming brows are gorgeous too;  
They set my heart aflare.  
I care for him, sincere and true,  
But does he truly care?  
What's in his mind? If I but knew,  
I wouldn't know despair;  
For that which he might want to do,  
I'd do for him, I swear. 

He can also be tall if he wants to;  
And man! That guy's got flair!

* * *

(Translator's note: The final stanza, written in a different ink and worded with conspicuously less skill, appears to have been added later. It is possible Aku was not satisfied with the poem and demanded the additional lines after the book was completed.) 


	3. Poem: I'm Singing a Song of Lord Aku

I'm singing a song of Lord Aku,  
Whose greatness exists in more than size.  
All that I say about him is true:  
He is gifted in wit and most certainly wise;  
You can tell it from only the look in his eyes.  
Power and magic he has to spare,  
And to him, all the people are flies;  
Yet Aku rules the world with both wisdom and care. 

So many people all wish they knew  
The next horrible plan he'll devise.  
By 'horrible' pray don't misconstrue  
Any negative meaning, or falsely surmise  
That there's one thing about him that you should despise.  
Horror, you know, he commits with flair,  
That he likes it should be no surprise;  
Yet Aku rules the world with both wisdom and care.

He calculates well and mistakes are few,  
And just think of what that fact implies.  
The capable plans he can think up and do  
Show the way he was able to conquer and rise,  
And why he deserves the whole world as his prize.  
Any man who arouses his anger, beware,  
For it's certain that then that man dies.  
Yet Aku rules the world with both wisdom and care.

We should be very thankful for the rule he supplies,  
As his mercy is past all compare.  
The people are begging with sorrowful cries;  
Yet Aku rules the world with both wisdom and care.

* * *

(Translator's note: The above poem was written to the tune of a popular Old French song called "_Je mange le verre, ne me fet mal_" ("I can eat stained-glass and it doesn't hurt me") which was likewise written to the tune of an earlier song, "_Mes can tint pulces_" ("My dog has plague.") In its day it was a very well-known ballade and it spawned many other medieval works such as "_Grant es mien verga_" ("My rod is big") and the English ballade "_Ic wollde ure queynte_." Sadly, the melody is now lost. But a remarkable discovery was made by the translation team; the words can be sung almost perfectly to the tune of "Jimmy Crack Corn." Unfortunately, to preserve the accuracy of the poem's meaning, the translation could not be made to fit within the same musical lines. If you still wish to hear the translation accompanied by authentic-sounding medieval music, we suggest you give a hurdy-gurdy to a five year old child for most accurate results.) 


	4. Folktale: Aku's Creation of the Sun

Back in the days before the great Akuvian cities, when samurai were unheard of and the world was pure, and great Lord Aku would feast upon bread made from golden flour, which he shared with mankind before their wicked and rebellious ways brought an end to this era; it so happened that a great snowstorm came and covered the earth with ice and snow. The people cried to Aku, for not even the thickest pelts could keep out the cold, and the damp and chill were such that no fires could be built. Aku thought long on this problem. After many hours, he rose from his throne and made the long journey to the Mountain of Glass at the End of the World. There, he summoned the demon spirits from within the mountain. A demonic worm, as long as the worm of Arnouth, rose forth and attacked our Lord Aku, who defended himself wisely in battle. They fought so long that mother's gave birth in the meantime, and fowl traveled north and south by the seasons. At last, Aku smote the worm with his laser eyes, and reduced it to a pile of ash. Then, Aku flew to the heavens and created the sun from the remains of a pig carcass; he was praised for days on end with songs and irrelevant stories, and thus the Earth was warmed and the people's joyfulness was returned.

* * *

(Translator's note: Presumably it made sense at the time.) 


	5. Poem: Lo! Let Our Lot Now Look

(Translator's note: When this seemingly anachronistic reference to Samurai Jack was found, it was feared by scholars that the whole codex might be a forgery. It was then recalled that the samurai was sent from the past, and through that information the problem was solved. The poem was likely written while the brush with the samurai was still fresh in Aku's mind, and possibly to comfort himself, he commissioned this poem. The poet was likely not paid very well, and perhaps even forced under torture to compose the work; every effort has been made by the translator to imitate the original author's informal and, some might say, desperate wording. The name Jack, written "Iiaeaccewulf" in the original, was as common a name then as it is now, and was likely used to imply an "Average Joe" rather than out of any expectation that the samurai would really be going by that name.)

* * *

Lo! Let our lot now learn and look upon  
This finest fable featuring fierce Aku.  
Herein he holds the power hard in hand  
to kill with skill, and ill with thrill of ill will,  
and will fulfil, I swear upon my quill,  
a swift and sudden snuff and still of  
some certain Samurai. So sall it be. See?  
He, our lord and hero, Aku as he hails,  
will wander forth from watching unwitting  
Jack, the Samurai, and attack that Jack,  
and will win for sure, when warring the foe,  
'cause Aku's got fire breath and cool shit.  
And then that fiend, (that's Jack, not Aku,)  
deftly once dead shall be put on display,  
so we'll watch him rot and wither away,  
and that should shend a meshage for shertain. 

Hail Aku!


	6. Fragment: Antea in Locus Remotus

_Antea, in locus remotus, ego, Acucius, mutatiebam dominus caliginis unum malus inenarrabilis emiseram; autem balo bellator Samora, cum gladio magico, mihi contra pervenerat. Priore offensio ultima inflixerat, porta in tempora abscinderam et prospicuo iaceram illum, quo imperium est malus mei. Nunc ille insipiens quaesti regredior antiquo ita futurus Acucii solveret.

* * *

_

(Translator's note: This Latin fragment appears to have been part of an introduction to another work, now lost. It is worth noting for two reasons: 1) It is the only Latin piece in the whole codex, 2) It is written in the first person as being spoken by Aku. Is it possible the Shogun of Sorrow himself wrote this, perhaps as part of a larger work? Efforts to contact Aku for an answer are presumed to have been unsuccessful; the historian sent to make the inquiry, Dr. Albertus Watterson, was never heard from again, and no one has dared go near the castle since. If you have information on either this fragment or the whereabouts of Dr. Watterson, please contact The H.O.U.N.D. Society, P.O. Box 1563, Aku Avenue #93452456433322986, New Amsterdam, NY, 10181. It should be noted that Dr. Watterson's family misses him very much, and that knowing the origin of this Latin fragment may be of the utmost importance toward shaping our knowledge of universal history.)


	7. Poem: Aku Fragment

(Translator's note: The poem presented here was written on a badly damaged sheet of vellum, which, soon after the translation was completed, crumbled into dust and was thus destroyed. It is a sad fact that a great deal, if not the in fact a great majority, of historical texts have been similarly lost, simply by the ravages of time. We are ecstatic and very proud to have rescued this fine work from being forgotten to the ages, and present it here in fully accurate translation.)

* * *

Aku ... ... ...(writing lost)  
Very big (an)d ... ... (writing lost)  
Most ... green ... ... ... (indecipherable)  
Hail mighty (?) lord of evil. 


	8. Poem: I Sneak Out at Night

It happened one day that the beautiful Aku came to Sir Engles, who was living in squalor, for his love of Aku had caused him to neglect all other interests; and fair Aku of the flaming eyebrows said tenderly to Sir Engles, "Oh noble Engles, do not abide this lowly life; if you should but only compose for me a poem, my favors will be bestowed upon you, and every night we will feast upon ham and frumenty and peasecoddes and waffles and meat pies and cheese pies, and other such foods, such as turtles." And gazing upon the lovely Aku, Sir Engles was inspired to sharpen a pen and make some ink, and after waiting a day for the ink to set he decided to once again write, and he wrote, and he wrote this. 

I sneak out at night just to gaze at my love,  
And stay close nearby until light shines above.  
My love's not unseemly, of that be quite sure,  
It's devotion deserved, in a form that's most pure,  
For no one is better than my lord Aku.

I aspire to beauty as that which he holds,  
For all are in awe when his darkness unfolds;  
Yet he shines like the dawn when you see him in flesh  
And makes you consider on beauty afresh,  
For no one is better than my lord Aku.

His eyebrows are brighter than morning's first light,  
And pierce like a beacon through darkness and night  
So that you may flock to his glorious form.  
The greatest of people are found in this swarm,  
For no one is better than my lord Aku.

His voice is the sweetest you'll ever have heard,  
As pleasant and tonal as that of a bird;  
But not of a songbird, who harkens the day,  
But rather more like a most fierce bird of prey,  
For no one is better than my lord Aku.

Most glorious king of both blackness and night,  
Whose jet hue attests to his power and might  
And his boldness, and views on the wicked and good,  
Whose actions so often are misunderstood:  
Give me my money; my best lord Aku.

* * *

(Translator's note: Medieval poets often appended to the start of their works an introductory explanation called a _razo_. The razo, like most literature of the day, was not bound by modern notions such as accuracy, and thus it is difficult to decipher to what degree truthfulness has been presented in the story given here. The translator's first impression, upon reading the poem, was that it may not have been all that far off. Yet the final verse, as with so many Medieval poems, reveals the truth: it was just another commission. It is interesting to note that a certain Sir Hugh Angless was executed near the beginning of Aku's reign.) 


	9. Document: Praises to Aku from St Bavo's

Our great lord Aku, the Shogun of Sorrow, rules us all so wisely and well, and nothing could be better than Aku at ruling us all, for his competence and power are beyond that of any mortal man, and nothing can beat the goodness he is doing at his job of ruling us all, because he is so good at it. Our master, the Deliverer of Darkness, that is, Aku, does such a good job at what he does. He conquered the whole world, and now he rules it, and he is the King of Everything, and he knows exactly what to do because he is so smart and big, and he cannot be spoken badly about because he works so well and so there is nothing to complain about, because he does a great act at doing his ruling which is his job. Aku is so very large. His grand largeness is so impressive. He is also most fully very black, of such black that nothing can be blacker than that black that is his black, and his eyebrows flame as does fire, which is made of flames. The Master of Masters, who is called Aku, when called by name, is so wonderful and he does his job very very well and right and good and beneficially. He is so smart and with such a fine and wizened wit. I think he knows magic as well. How great Aku is. There is a cloud outside right now that looks as he looks at this time at which I am writing this, except the cloud is white, and the Demon of Despair is not white because he is black, except around his most greenish mouth, which is as green as the sky. And his beard is red, as many other things are red as well. Sometimes apples are red. I like apples. I like them when they are red, and when they are not green because they are hard and not ripe; but when they are red, I like them. Aku has a head which is shaped in a most pointy fashion, and apple-trees sometimes look like his head when they have no leaves, and I think it might be most funny if Aku were an apple tree and people picked apples off of him. I told this to Brother Wiglaf and he laughed at the idea as well and then he ceased his laughing and he told me "Stop of this fanciful thinking and return yourself to writing out praises to apple, I mean Aku" and then he turned around towards the door and walked out of it and then down the hallway. I think he has been sneaking food from the store-room and is hiding it someplace nearby. But that is not as bad as what I am told Brother Peter has been occupying himself by doing in recent weeks, for lately a pretty young girl has been stopping here every day insisting that he and he alone take her confessions. Nobody has caught them yet, but we are all certain he is swiving her. Sometimes I wish I were so lucky as to have fair ladies asking me to take their confessions. I have never seen myself in a mirror save but once in a pilgrim's mirror, but I do not believe I am handsome nor fair-faced sufficiently to attract a young lady to me, and so it is probably good that I became a friar. I just thought of a funny riddle. Everyone is staring at me because I am laughing and they do not know the reason. Aku is talented and is most smart and is of a most handsome figure and I admire him most greatly and he is large. Praise Aku.

* * *

(Translator's note: The mention of a green sky might be due to either the vocabulary and culture of the day making no distinction between green and blue, or else because the author had been staring at the paper for too long on a bright day.) 


	10. Poem: Summer Has at Last Come in

Summer has at last come in,  
Loudly sing, Aku!  
Seeds are growing, breeze is blowing,  
And woodlands grow anew -  
Sing Aku!  
Mother ewes bleat after lambs,  
And cows at calves go moo;  
Steers are staring, bucks are blaring,  
Gaily sing, Aku!  
Aku, Aku, you sing so well, Aku;  
May you never be through;  
Sing Aku, do, sing Aku,  
Sing Aku, sing, Aku, do!

* * *

(Translator's note: This poem written in celebration of the summer is of a type called a "reverdie," or poem celebrating spring. It was written with musical notation accompanying the text; a six part "ground round" or round sung over a repeated bass line. This song happens to be the earliest example of such in English polyphony, just predating the famous - and strangely similar - "Sumer is icumen in.") 


	11. Poem: Howdy Hey

Howdy hey! My truth is top:  
I dare not speak if he says "stop!" 

Children: know you can't allow  
For fighting demons in a row.  
I lost against one, so that now  
I dare not speak if he says "stop!"

The dangers I did not then see,  
And so he made a slave of me.  
I dare not ask he let me free -  
I dare not speak if he says "stop!"

The instances are worst of all  
When he should my misdeeds recall.  
I take off running down the hall -  
I dare not speak if he says "stop!"

My questions only add more fuel.  
He says, if I should ask for gruel:  
"You are but a worthless mule."  
I dare not speak if he says "stop!"

I dare not even ask for water.  
That is begging for a slaughter.  
He tells me "You're no more than fodder."  
I dare not speak if he says "stop!"

* * *

Translator's note: Presumably Aku is the demon being spoken of in this poem, which was written by a very rich and successful comrade of his who was, as far as it is known, one of the only people to have ever gotten along well with the Shogun of Sorrow. It is likely just a propaganda piece. 


	12. Poem: Oh, Aku who Rages

Oh, Aku who rages deep within as no one else can,  
And hates so hard it manifests in eyebrows set aflame,  
Can anger burn as brightly so in any other man?  
How noble, you, with outrage such, and venom very true,  
Afflicted as a leper's skin, with boils full of spite.  
Your loathing blooms and malice fumes as steam from hot spiced punch,  
With bitterness and vinegar instead of honey sweet.  
Indignancy and villainy are nothing not from you.  
Splenetic lord, how great you are! Your fury awes us so.  
Your mighty hate cannot abate, and that, I feel, is good.  
Tumultuous and fearsome lord, how does your anger grow?  
With silver bells and cockle shells and jacks all in a row.  
What passioned rage, what seething ire's inspired in your heart!  
Oh lord so great and full of hate, what lusty blaze from you!  
Your poisoned wrath cannot be met with anything but joy.

* * *

(Translator's note: Aku had the author, William the Inappropriate, killed for that line abut lepers.) 


	13. Poem: The Anguished Dark

(Translator's note: The following poem is unusual, even within the Codex Acucius, for many reasons. First, it is very likely the oldest poem within the codex. Secondly, it is the only poem in the collection written in a Crimean dialect of the 9th century. Thirdly, it is the only known poem in this language. Fourthly, it has nothing to do with Aku. It is speculated that the poem was included because it was a favorite of the Shogun of Sorrow's, though this has not been verified, as efforts to obtain an answer were fruitless (See note on chapter 6.) Up until the 9th century, Crimea was still using the language of the Visigoths; and in this tongue there exist no other examples of verse or prose ("Goth Poetry.") This language is difficult enough to translate on it's own, and a handful of liberties have been taken to best communicate the word meanings to the modern reader)

* * *

The anguished dark  
Like nails in a coffin  
Vampiric  
In their coldness and pain  
Thrusts through  
My  
Blackened corpse  
The blood-rose torment that afflicts my soul  
With Evanescence  
Which is my favorite band. 


	14. Poem: Aku, Your Greatness is so Greatly

Aku, your greatness is so greatly  
That your words affect us straightly  
Once they're said.  
Once you have wished it, we are led  
To do your will innately;  
We find you then, alone and stately,  
Black and red;  
You look at us and wish us dead  
In fashion most irately,  
As you have just done lately.  
Full of dread,  
We take your orders weightly.

Goodly great Aku most noble  
Your sovereign nature's reign is global.  
You are grand  
To levels one can't understand  
With these human brains bi-lobal.  
Our consciousness should be more mobile  
And be manned  
With methods so we could withstand  
Those doings which are thought ignoble.  
We, afterall, do not want trouble  
By your hand,  
So let's make peace with Noodles Sobal.

* * *

Translator's Note: It's interesting to observe that, probably due to Aku's appearance, Japanese Soba Noodles were already known in Europe at this time. The poem was written by the leaders of a small village in an effort to appease Aku, who had recently condemned them to death. Aku's stated reason for killing them anyway was that "noble doesn't rhyme with trouble. And I hate Soba noodles." 


	15. Romance: Lord Aku and the Green Knight

After Aeneas abandoned the city of Troy  
For plundering provinces held within his power,  
His descendants continued in conquering countries:  
Romulus raised up a city called Rome,  
Ticius with Tuscany titled his townships  
And Brutus most boldly called his country Britain.  
Then Aku conquered them all, 'cause he's cooler.  
The story I'll speak of surrounds Lord Aku,  
And happened one holiday within his own home:  
Aku and his comrades, commencing a feast,  
Learned that their leader was languishing, bored;  
Grimly, the Great One threatened to eat his own guests  
If something of interest did not then intervene.  
Almost as in answer to Aku's angry threat,  
A knight, known to nobody, not even the knave,  
Charged into the chamber, his chainmail green,  
And green was his garment, and gold was the trim,  
And even his face-hair was green as fresh foliage.  
His words went to the point, without introduction:  
"Who here, might it happen, is the one that's in charge?"  
Aku accorded and answered him, standing:  
"I am the Master of Masters, the Monarch of Misery,  
Why do you deign to disturb us at dinner?"  
"I grace you today to engage in a game.  
Today you shall strike me a stroke with my snickersnee,  
And in a year's time I'll come here yet again,  
But then it is I who will instigate action,  
And I'll bring my own blow, a gift back to you."  
Aku said "Okay," and he acted full swift,  
Grabbing the sword from the Green Knight's own gear.  
He raised up his wrist, and when ready to strike  
He brought down the blade, and the bloke's blood spilled forth,  
And the knight's head then landed head-long on the floor,  
And he was dead, and he didn't get up again,  
Nor did he re-tatch his detached head,  
Because Aku is cool like that, and they went back to dinner  
And ate all their food, and praised lord Aku. 


End file.
